The important thing to remember on the Internet is that you cannot rely on a forum or a website to handle your experience for you. Nor will any browsing experience ever be truly safe. There will always be an opportunity and vector for attack. Don't assume that because you're on a support forum for epileptics, that a seizure inducing trigger won't come up either on purpose or accidentally.

Even when sites say they take your security and browsing experience seriously, it's still up to you to protect yourself as best as possible. This article should help empower you to do just that.

First line of defense: cover one eye

I already stated this, but I'll emphasize it: if some blinky stuff should happen to show up on your screen that can affect you, and you haven't done anything else to protect yourself, cover your eye as quickly as possible and either close your browser, press Esc on your keyboard, or look away and get someone to help you. This tip comes from various sources on photosensitive epilepsy around the web.

First and Most Important: Update to the Latest Web Browser

Whether you prefer to use IE, Firefox, Safari, Opera, or Flock, there are basic steps you can take to make sure your browsing experience is a safer one. First, make sure you are up to date on the latest version of your browser.

Not only will this help protect you from other internet-based attacks, but it will also ensure that you can use the latest plug-ins to assist you in safer browsing.

On Internet Explorer: Go to the Tools menu on your browser bar, and click "Windows Update." Follow all prompts you see to patch and update IE.

On Firefox, Opera, and Flock: Firefox should work to keep you up-to-date. Otherwise you need to do this yourself: go to the Help menu, and click "Check For Updates." Follow all on-screen prompts.

On Safari: Visit the Safari website, and click the Download link. Follow whatever install procedure is normal for OSX or Windows.

If you're not sure how to perform browser updates, get a friend. Everyone has a knowledgable friend these days, so ignorance is no excuse.

Next: Safest Browsing Tactics >>

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Unlike assistant branch manager Andre, Josh knew what courtesy overdraft protection was, and steadfastly insisted that it was a feature that could not be turned off. Never mind that nasty little federal banking regulation that requires banks to allow customers to opt out of it.

Audio and transcript of US Bank teller (1:54)

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

Josh: Hi, how are ya?

Customer: Ah, good. Um, I wanted to turn off the courtesy overdraft protection on my checking account.

Josh: Ok. And you have your account number and your drivers license.

Customer: Sure.

Josh: So, you do not want to have overdraft protection?

Customer: Yeah, I screwed up last month and ended up ... I'd really rather just bounce like the one check.

Josh: Ok ... it looks to me that there is no overdraft protection on this account. There's nothing attached to it for overdraft protection.

Customer: Oh, no, it's the um, when I use my debit card, I got the $35 fee each time I went over, and I'd like to turn that off.

Josh: That's not something that can be turned off.

Customer: It can't be turned off?

Josh: No, no, that's that's something because those are actual overdraft charges.

Customer: Yeah.

Josh: Uh,

Customer: Because I'd rather just not have my debit card work.

Josh: I, I understand that. I'd like that - I've done that enough times. Ah, but unfortunately the bank will allow you to overdraw your account up to about $500.

Customer: OK.

Josh: While your card still works and checks still clear. Um, because the way the bank puts it is, you know, if you have four dollars in your account and you're stuck in the middle of nowhere and you need to get gas ...

Customer: mm-hmm.

Josh: And you don't have that in your account to put gas in your car. That's basically the thing is you got it there for an emergency you can overdraw your account. But it's-

Customer: OK, so there's no way, they're just going to charge me a thirty five dollar fee and let me use my card.

Josh: Um, the only thing you can really do to prevent that is to set up a actual overdraft protection on the account which would be a line of credit or another account that would pull funds from if your account were to overdraw.

Customer: OK.

Josh: It's cheaper than paying thirty five dollars for each item.

Customer: OK.

Josh: Especially because as of *unintelligible* the fees are actually going up.

Customer: OK. Oh, wow.

Josh: So, they're going up to $37.50.

Customer: OK. Is this your card?

Josh: Yes it is.

Customer: OK. Thank you.

Josh: Thank you!

Wow.

Ending thoughts: what I left out of this audio was my spy first asking a regular teller if he could turn off overdraft protection. She immediately escalated him up to Josh (the guy on the recording). So, I think it's reasonable to assume that after my ordeal with Andre, an office memo or something went out educating everyone. Did another memo go out telling customers to lie, or is Josh just really bad at remembering the details? Either way, very disturbing, indeed.

Stay tuned, this isn't over.

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Mr. Jason Fortuny
www.rfjason.com

Re: Infringement of MONOPOLY® Property Trading Game Copyrights and Trademarks

Dear Mr. Fortuny:

We are counsel for Hasbro, Inc. ("Hasbro"), the owner of the copyrights and trademarks for the MONOPOLY® property trading game. We recently became aware of your "Lulzopoly" and "LJopoly" games at http://rfjason.livejournal.com/616587.html and on your site at www.rfjason.com, which contain elements and images obviously copied from the MONOPOLY® property trading game. Specifically, the appearance of the game boards, the title deed cards, the distinctive property squares and the game money are obviously copied from the MONOPOLY® game. The "LJopoly" game board also copies the distinctive MONOPOLY® corner squares.

The MONOPOLY® property trading game as a whole, as well as specific elements and characters, such as the property squares, the corner squares and the design of the title deed cards, are the copyrighted property of Hasbro. Hasbro also owns the trademark rights to the numerous elements of the MONOPOLY® property trading game, including the property squares, corner squares and title deed cards, that have achieved source-identifying significance.

Your unauthorized use of the MONOPOLY® game board and game elements constitutes copyright infringement in violation of 17 U.S.C. § 501. Your unauthorized use of the property squares, corner squares and title deed cards also violates the federal trademark laws, including 15 U.S.C. §§ 1114(1) and 1125(a), by creating a likelihood of confusion with respect to Hasbro's authorization or sponsorship of or association with your activities. The unauthorized use of these MONOPOLY® marks is also likely to dilute their distinctive qualities in violation of 15 U.S.C. § 1125(c).

We therefore demand that you immediately cease and desist from any further use of the MONOPOLY® property trading game, that you remove the infringing elements and images from your game and from your website, and that you provide us with a written assurance that in the future you will refrain from any further unauthorized use of the elements and characters of the MONOPOLY® property trading game.

Please confirm to me as soon as possible, and in any event within ten days, your agreement to the above. This letter does not purport to be a complete statement of the facts or the law and is without prejudice to Hasbro's legal and equitable rights.

Sincerely yours,
Carin G. Reynolds
Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler LLP
1133 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10036-6710
tel: 212.336.2104
fax: 212.336.2277
cgreynolds@pbwt.com

Hmm. It's obviously not a DMCA request, which would have been the smart route if I were actually infringing any copyright. I'm more scared of getting sued by Encyclopedia Dramatica since I used several of their visual trademarks in Lulzopoly - still just $20!!!. If you look closely at the language, it reads like an intimidation note rather than anything legally enforceable.

And we all know how I respond to intimidation.

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I did not accept his apology and I got off the phone as quickly as possible. I didn't mention to him that he failed to reverse my incorrect overdraft fee, only because I knew, based on my latest experience with him, that he had no intention of rectifying his mistakes or behavior.

To add insult to injury, the branch manager also called to "apologize" that I felt I had a bad experience, and then proceeded to back up Andre's position and actually offered to close my account over the phone, and bordered on insistent when I said I'd take care of at my own convenience.

Wow.

But, then I got a letter from the CEO office. The photo of the letter is here, and the text is below:

Dear Mr. Fortuny:

Thank you for your letter addressed to Mr. Richard K. Davis, Chairman, President and CEO of U.S. Bancorp. I have been asked to provide you with a response on behalf of Mr. Davis and the other recipients of your correspondence.

Foremost, please accept our sincere apologies for the service experience provided at U.S. Bank's Kirkland branch office. We are troubled by any instance when a customer feels that our personnel failed to deliver on our commitment to service, and your letter clearly details an experience that was not favorable. Our office has provided a copy of your complaint to Mr. Derek Pender, Bellevue Metro District Manager, and we understand that Jamie Cox has recently been in contact with you about this matter.

U.S. Bank makes every effort to ensure that our employees have the tools and support necessary to promptly and accurately address the questions and concerns our customers may pose, and we regret that your visit to the branch did not leave a more favorable impression of our products and services.

As you may already be aware, U.S. Bank has honored your request to opt out of our general overdraft limits for your account, and this designation will remain in effect unless you inform us otherwise. However, we request that you immediately return the original copy of our internal procedure for this service. Please return this document to my attention at our letterhead address. The documentation for U.S. Bank's policies and procedures is proprietary information, and you are hereby notified to not copy or disseminate this procedure.

We appreciate that you took the time to share your concerns, and look forward to the opportunity to better meet your expectation in your future.

Sincerely,
William Williamson
Executive Communications
for Richard K. Davis
Chairman, President and CEO
U.S. Bancorp


cc: Derek Pender, Bellevue Metro District Manager, Jamie Cox, Branch Manager, Kirkland Office

Frankly, I like the apology. It's to the point and it comes from the CEO's office. I do not like this demand to return the OBP procedure document. Hmm. Just how do I inform Mr. Williamson that his precious super secret document is already all over the internet and I intend on making it even more all over the internet just because of his demand?

That's it for this chapter, but I suspect it's not over.

As for the overdraft protection, it took two weeks, but I finally got a confirmation letter confirming that courtesy overdraft protection is removed from my account. Fantastic.

Oh, btw, if you want to write a letter to US Bancorp CEO Richard K. Davis, here's the address that actually got me a response:

US Bancorp, The Office of the Corp. Secretary
Richard K. David, Chairman, President & CEO
800 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, MN. 55402

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Turns out that Federal banking regulations require banks to allow customers to opt out of so-called "courtesy" overdraft protection systems. When you opt out, any charges that can't be covered by your current available balance will be declined.

Here's how it works when you turn off overdraft protection: if you have $500 in the bank, you clear a $490 check, and then you try to make a $30 purchase with your debit card, the charge will be declined. In this instance you won't have a pesky $28-$35 overdraft fee per overdrawn item, plus a $7-$10/day negative balance fee.

However, this opt-out does not save your ass if, for example, you do pay-at-the-pump authorizations, where they only ping your card for a dollar and let you go on your way with a full tank of gas, and the final charge overdrafts you. In this case, you still pay a fee. This also happens when you go out to dinner and your final total doesn't clear until the tip is factored in. To avoid this, always pay at the gas counter with a set amount instead of at the pump, and always tip your server in cash.

How to opt-out of courtesy overdraft

Every bank has a different term and system, but the rules are generally the same:

Don't backup your account with a credit card or savings account

This is scam #2 in the banking universe. While bankers will try to convince you to trade in your overdraft protection for credit card protection, it's still a bad idea. US Bank, for example, charges for every overdraft incident where money from a protection source is applied to your account. You may pay as little as $5, but you're still paying for the privilege of US Bank automatically transferring money from one of your accounts to another, a service that's free when you do it yourself online or through the automated phone system, or only $2 when you have a telephone banker do it.

How I came to know all this: horrible customer service

Back in December, I called up US Bank about an overdraft fee I had. It was totally my fault, so I didn't ask them to fix it. I just asked if there's anything else I could do to turn off overdraft protection. That must have been the magic word because the telephone banking rep said he could turn off courtesy overdraft protection for me over the phone.

Of course, when I had an overdraft in January, I was pissed. I called again, got another rep who confirmed the same courtesy overdraft protection but said I had to go to my local branch to do it. So I went to my branch on January 11.

I waited 10 minutes in the bank lobby while Andre Branch, the football player sized assistant manager, chatted for 10 minutes on the phone with someone about non-business stuff. When he was finally ready to see me, I retold him my story and said I wanted to cancel my courtesy overdraft protection. He looked at me confused and said he didn't understand. I tried to explain it to him for several more minutes.

Finally, he said, "let me talk to my people." He picked up the phone, dialed a number and said, "do you know what this guy is talking about?" as he looked across the room. I looked, too, and he had dialed one of the tellers to ask her! She didn't know, either, so he suggested that what I was asking for didn't exist. I suggested that maybe he should do a little more research.

He called his district office while I called telephone banking again. I confirmed for a third time that you can opt out of courtesy overdraft protection. Once the manager heard me confirm it, he piped in that he knew it now and it was called "OBP code" (thus leading to my research above -- thanks Consumerist, the world's best consumer advocate website!).

He hassled me if I really wanted to do this, emphasized that the change was permanent, and I confirmed. While he was putting codes into the computer, he made the off-hand comment, "I'm not surprised nobody else knew about this. It's a very obscure feature."

To which I replied, "three telephone bankers knew about this feature. You're an assistant branch manager. You really should know. There's no excuse," and glared at him.

Then he got pissy: "look, I've been nothing but nice to you and I've done everything you've asked, and now you're being a smart ass." "Excuse me?" "You heard me. You brought it, now I'm bringin' it. You can go sit in the lobby." "I'm not done, no thank you." "You can go sit in the lobby."

(Please note that I had asked him to reverse my latest overdraft fee as a courtesy for this mix-up. It has not been reversed.)

At which point I went home and wrote a complaint letter to the branch manager, the central banking management office and the CEO. The branch letter was delivered the next Monday. In the letter, I detailed the incident, and included a copy of the US Bank internal memo about OBP Code 09 that was dated August 2007 as evidence that the assistant branch manager should have known about the feature, or knew about it and tried to deceive me, which either makes him incompetent or a liar.

You can see the response I got here.

(Last note: I try to keep my banking balance at zero because I transfer all my money into my PayPal Mastercard debit card, which gives me 5.2% APY on my balance and pays 1% cash back immediately for every credit purchase. It also doesn't charge overdraft fees or negative balance fees. The only time I have money in my US Bank account is when I need to pay rent. However, once in a while an organization will have my old card on file and I'll forget that detail. I'd rather be notified that an old charge somewhere was declined rather than incur more dastardly overdraft fees.)

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